Photo: Pure Joy is a super soft cookie and some lemonade at Panera Bread. (NOT paid to tell you that! Still true though. That lemonade is the absolute best!) What a perfect way to end our summer.

 

I have a sneaking suspicion that I should have done a dry-run of the school routine this morning. I really, really think I am in trouble tomorrow. I don’t even have a good excuse for not doing so. I guess I wanted to honor the boys’ “final day” before we all head back into the school routine.

We had a jam-packed school-less day: Major had a playdate with his “favorite friend,” so Minor needed to come with me on a “special field trip” to the DMV. License renewal.  Oh joy. I promised him cookies, glorious cookies if he would be cool and let me get this annoying task done. He was not excited about being left out of the fun with Major and his friend, but he found a way to be cool in anticipation of future cookies. That’s my baby!

This actually turned out to be a little unexpected treat for me: one last day with my sweet little Minor, who is always happy to roll with me to wherever I’ve gotta go. Once we get in the car and get going, he’s the kid who’s up for whatever: DMV? No problem! There are shapes and colors in there! And, yeah, he had a good time at the little AAA branch where I went to get my license renewed today. He even ended up getting his picture taken when I thought I was getting my picture taken for my new license! Seriously, cutest thing ever. All of the little old ladies waiting in line behind us were delighted.

Sidebar: I used to have an adorable picture for my license. It had that “I’m a newly-wed” glow to it. This one… is…. it’s not very nice. There was a line behind me, so I didn’t do a million re-dos. I’m not vain but… why, Jesus, why do license pictures need to be so awful!?

Anyway.

As his reward for being so awesome, I bounced him down to the Panera Bread in the same shopping complex and let him pick out a big, fat cookie that had M&Ms baked in. He asked for a lemonade to wash it down (4th generation lemonade lover right there). I’ve never seen a joy so pure, Dear Reader, as those five minutes when my son noshed on that cookie and sucked down that lemonade. It’s not that such occasions are going to disappear forever, but more time in school for both little boys means less moments of me and my little roll buddy like this.

Don’t get me wrong: the boys going back to school tomorrow brings me unabashed elation. Seriously. Camp Mama is over! School is back! Regular schedules will reign supreme once more! Go! Learn! Be! I’m excited about how much they are going to learn and experience this year (the teacher in my will always geek out about that). I’m also excited about this time to myself that I’ve earned. I’m overwhelmed by my own potential learning and growing this school year. I refuse to waste this precious time.

Though… I’m absolutely terrified that I will.

I’ve put such an incredible premium on every single second of school time that I’m afraid that I might end up paralyzing myself instead of utilizing it effectively. That would be the ultimate waste! So I’m committing to pacing myself. I’m back to getting up at 5 staring tomorrow. I’m taking my notebook to my favorite thinking spot after I drop off the boys. From there… well, who knows, Dear Reader? The possibilities are endless. I hope you’ll keep me accountable: I need to write, I need to edit, I need to craft, I need to read, I need to do.

It’s really sort of hilarious. Change is inevitable and I know that better than most. I’ve been waiting for this change! Yet, here we are on First Day Eve and I’m holding my breath while curling my toes over the edge, peering over it with a frown. I’ll jump. I have to. It will be fine once I do.

But I’ve got the butterflies just the same.

Hope you’re so invested in something that if gives you butterflies, Dear Reader. Stay focused!

See you Friday for Quiet Thoughts.

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