Photo: When the boys are awake and I can’t write (but the chores are done, and they are playing nicely), I have crafting to do. I’m working on a little embroidered star for my nephew. I’m really pumped about how this tree turned out! I used back-stitch for the trunk, scatter-stitch or the leaves, and little french knots for what were supposed to be cherries and sorta look more like apples. It’s nice to know that I’ve accomplished a few little things this summer, even if it’s not nearly as much as what I set out to do!
Ooooooo, we are a grumpy bunch today. It’s the heat, I tell ya. The heat and a fun stage that Minor is going through where his day is a narration of a constant stream of consciousness from the moment that he wakes up until the moment he goes to bed.
Seriously. Let me give you an example:
“What does this do?”
“What does this do?”
“Mommy, what do this do?”
“Baby, what? What is ‘this’?”
“This. This red thing. That red thing over there. What does that red thing do?”
“Baby, uh… the ambulance…? Is that what you’re talking about? You know what an ambulance does…?”
“But what does it do? What is that? What does it do?”
“Baby, it’s an ambulance. It takes people to the hospital in an emergency.”
“Ok. It does that. What’s that red thing? What does that red thing do?”
…. he’s talking, he’s asking, but he’s not listening. Look at all those words we spoke, over what?
Now imagine that all day.
Here’s another one:
“Ok, babies, we have our veggies. It’s time to go up the hill.”
“Are we going up the hill now? Which hill? That hill? Is that the hill we are going up?”
“Yes, baby, that hill. That’s the hill we are going up. Now go.”
“Are we going up the hill? This hill? Which hill? Is that the hill we are going up? Mommy, we are going up the hill now?”
“Yes, baby, we are going up the hill now. Please go up the hill!”
Some other adult in the vicinity, not with young children with them, gave me a judging look for that one. He was wise, however, not to say anything, because he would have been told.
See?? I told you, I’m hella grumpy! I can’t believe I typed that! I’m keepin’ it to, because it’s too hot not to keep it 100% today. This mama right here is in a grumpy-grump mood!
Really, it’s just that it’s hard to share your head space with someone else. I don’t know if it’s the heat, or just that point in the summer when I’m ready for them to go back to school but… I really want my head space back. I’m trying to finish my first draft of this project, and I’m frustrated by how little quiet time I’ve been able to manage to find. With the boys rarely napping (I’ve snuck in a few here and there this summer) and their surprise of getting up early this morning, I didn’t get my usual quiet hour for coffee and writing. That’s pretty huge, you know? Everybody needs a moment of Zen. Once those two get out of bed, both little boys, in their own ways, take up their little parts of my brain and sit there, takin’ up bandwidth.
Sometimes, it’s adorable. Minor will notice something in his world and wonder about it, drilling down until he gets to whatever answer he is looking for and then he is off to the next. Yesterday day at the pool, for example, Minor wanted to know all about the pool filter system: what’s the flap at the edge of the pool? What’s the holes on the side of the pool? Why is the water coming out of that hole pushing me away? What’s with the weird circles on the bottom of the pool? Why do we need to ‘filter’ water and what does ‘filtering’ mean?
…now mind you, I’m trying to have an adult conversation and I can’t get a word in edgewise because he’s just larger than life with his curiosity! Nothing else matters! He has questions, NOW!
I know that I shouldn’t complain. What a lovely problem to have: I have an inquisitive little boy who sees the world and wants to know everything he can about it. Curiosity attracts him and he wants to talk about what he is thinking. I want to honor that, really I do, and so that’s why I find myself answering. Over and over again. All the time.
When you’re the only person responsible for answering all of his queries all day long, it’s exhausting.
And so it goes. Unfortunately, all of the local ponds are closed for various health related reasons ranging from e.coli to some other funky bacteria that takes 3 weeks to clear up. So that means everyone is scrambling to find some way to keep children cool in the summer heat. Project 3 o’clock might need to come back in these last few weeks of summer because I need to occupy these children, it’s a little too hot to being at the playground all day, and Lord, I’m not going to let them sit around and watch TV all day. Not just for their brains, but for my sanity, too.
I think I need to go ahead and have a beer before I cook dinner. To push the grump away. 😉
I hope I have enough mental bandwidth to write some Quiet Thoughts. They might be loud instead. Just a stream of consciousness of my own.
Or maybe a mantra: school starts in three weeks. You can do it! You can do it! School starts in three weeks. You can do it! You can do it!!
The whole post.
Quiet Thoughts: Mantra
Tune in to find out!
Until then, take care.