Photo:  Here it is, the room is primed and ready for real color! My God, it feels like it took forever to get here…

 

There are two coats of primer on the walls in the playroom. Two nights of being up until midnight getting it done. I used my mid-day writing time to paint an entire wall and the entire bottom portion of the room because I had that parent meeting last night at school. Because The Husband is such a freaking slow meticulous worker, it still took him until about 11:15 to get his part done. We crawled into bed at midnight and then fell out of bed at 7.

It’s been… just exhausting.

Tonight, we start color. This will also likely take 2 coats. 2 more nights… just gotta survive two more nights.

This is the Benjamin Moore paint that we've been doing. It was pricey, but I feel good about it. The first layer did a pretty good job, but the room looks completely safe after that second coat.

This is the Benjamin Moore paint that we’ve been doing. It was pricey, but I feel good about it. The first layer did a pretty good job, but the room looks completely safe after that second coat.

We've been painting at night time, so lighting is important.

We’ve been painting at night time, so lighting is important.

The door from the playroom to the rest of the house is this beautiful ornate piece of woodwork and The Husband and I have been especially careful around it. So far, so good.

The door from the playroom to the rest of the house is this beautiful ornate piece of woodwork and The Husband and I have been especially careful around it. So far, so good.

The most offending corner of the most offending window.. totally sealed now. No lead paint to be seen.

The most offending corner of the most offending window.. totally sealed now. No lead paint to be seen.

I’m trying to keep my spirits up and my footsteps ever forward, so today I broke in my newly arrived journal! (oooohhh, ahhhh) I even spent time indexing the old one for easy reference. Very gratifying.

IMG_20140513_072446023

 

I also planted my kitchen herb garden, which is exciting but not as instantly gratifying. I might not see little plants until the end of summer! Gotta stay disciplined and focused… and keep watering… but not over watering…

I know what you're thinking... "Where are the drainage dishes for them?" Welll..... they were out of those at Home Depot last week, and I haven't had a chance to go to Ace to pick up some. Besides, I think they would have been too big for the window sill... so I need a different kind of solution. Currently, they are on my funky little tea-cup holders, but that isn't going to last long. Maybe I can make something on the cheap? Will come up with a solution that's pretty and function...

I know what you’re thinking… “Where are the drainage dishes for them?” Welll….. they were out of those at Home Depot last week, and I haven’t had a chance to go to Ace to pick up some. Besides, I think they would have been too big for the window sill… so I need a different kind of solution. Currently, they are on my funky little tea-cup holders, but that isn’t going to last long. Maybe I can make something on the cheap? Will come up with a solution that’s pretty and function…

(They’re dead already, probably.)

I am really hoping to have pictures of the final paint job for you on Friday. It won’t be the final room result, though, as we still haven’t resolved our carpet problem. We were hoping to get Home Depot out this week to measure the room (they have to measure the room themselves, they won’t take ours) but they don’t have any slots until next Tuesday. National Floors Direct is going to be out tomorrow and I’m very dubious. I’ve never read or heard anything good about them. There is a local company here that is available to do the work this week, but their prices are not quite in the ballpark we are looking for (and their color selection isn’t that great, either). I don’t want to rush this, but I also don’t want to sit on this forever. I would really like to get the boys out of the living room and back into their playspace. I would also like to be done so that I can get some freaking sleep and maybe write some freaking fiction!

 

In the world of babies, Ursa Minor has decided to take this opportunity to really get down with some Terrible Twos behavior. In my dizzy fatigue, I decided to pop into a Panera Bread right after going to the grocery store for a not-so-delicious but much needed breakfast sandwich and a vanilla latte. (Seriously, I do this to myself every time. Should have gone for the egg white and avocado, but no, I wanted that hearty sausage and egg on cibatta… and it’s awful. The sausage is awful. I’ve got to stop doing that!) Ursa Minor in my arms, I decided to order a cheese danish to split with him, a sweet reward for his awesome behavior in the grocery store. When I sat down to wait for my food and drink, I opened up the bag he was clambering for and took out the danish. He grabbed the entire thing, which was unwieldy in his little hands. I took it back and began to rip it into two pieces…

And that boy let out a scream from another dimension.

And then he tried to throw the danish on the floor.

And when he didn’t succeed in doing that, he smacked me in the face.

Twice.

And then he screamed while I picked up my food (now hastily being put into a bag) and he continued to scream while I picked up my latte (given to me by a guy who really was sympathetic to my plight).

The boy screamed to the car.  And he screamed while I got him into the carseat. I closed the door and took two sips of latte and two good deep breaths before I got into the car to drive away.

And then he screamed through the 3 New England towns between my grocery store and my home.

Between actively choosing not to follow directions, willfully antagonizing his big brother, becoming irate for absolutely no reason, or just otherwise being a simpering little snot, Ursa Minor really is on my last damn nerves of late. It absolutely doesn’t help that I’m exhausted.

In the world of school, there was clarification on my “jobs” for next year. I’m not washing toys, I’m filing away books. Which, I guess, is different and easy. Of course, after the evening parent meeting was adjourned, we were all given our enrollment packets and what not, and a list of what everyone is doing as their jobs next year. I was standing and talking with a new family at the exit of the school when Peggy walked up with her packet.

Peggy, excited: “You’re on the same committee as I am!”

Me, trying to mirror her excitement and mask my own bemusement: “I know! How lovely!”

Peggy: “And you’re gonna chair it!!”

Me, confused: “What? No…?”

Peggy, in all seriousness: “Oh yeah, no, I think I’m chairing it.”

Bitch.

It’s high school all over again, I swear. I suppose that impending interactions will be fantastic for blogging, but probably very detrimental to my blood pressure. I have to find my “I really just don’t give a what what” frame of mind, which is not where I usually like to be. Then again, I’m going to have to teach Peggy how to treat me, which is a whole different kind of art and discipline. I also have to check myself and my ego. Being part of this community isn’t about me, it’s about the boys. Making in-roads in this community doesn’t much mean anything for us in the long run as, ultimately, my boys will be in a completely different school district. Finally, taking on small-potato jobs at this school means that I can put my talents and energy toward other, more important opportunities that can result in beneficial outcomes for the four of us.

I talked out with The Husband the source of the dissatisfaction. I totally found it: I really hate being on the bottom of the totem pole, and I still feel very much like an outsider even though we’re coming up on the end of the school year. Talking it out with the husband, I reminded myself that this sort of thing takes time, and we have to earn a place here. It isn’t so simple as “show up and be included,” nor, probably, should it be. The good news is that I think we’re finding spaces where we feel like we belong.

How’s that for critical thinking while exhausted, hmm??

Between the fatigue, the poor eating choices and the fumes from the paint, I hope that I have enough brain cells for Quiet Thoughts on Friday. A friend of mine sent me an education article that really grinds my gears and I’d like to write about it, but only if I can come up with something to say that is actually relevant. We’ll see what I can pull off. So that and some “after” painting pictures. Much to look forward to!

See you then!

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2 thoughts on “Tabula Rasa

  1. ‘Then again, I’m going to have to teach Peggy how to treat me,’ Now that I look forward to. I reckon you are strong enough (once you have had a chance to sleep) to take that lady on and use your teacher skills to educate her. You may not see immediate benefits, but we are all lifelong learners. She signed up for school duty, I would love to see her learn a lesson about the world she now lives in.

  2. Duuude, that door was worth buying the whole house.

    The space looks great, both inside your head and in the playroom. You’re doing fine, right on track for a memorable and fulfilling journey. Remember that power and being in control outside of your 9×12 is overrated, and it oozes with mistrust and hatred from others. Let the assholes have it; you raise good men. Stay in the smartzone with the others “at the bottom”–that’s where the real learning and all the good dish is.

    Hope you see the inside of your eyelids soon. Tell Husband it’s perfect 🙂

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