Photo: All Ursa Major wanted to do was see this tractor today. He would just not let me hear the end of it. Of course, I gave him what he wanted, but he won’t give me what I want, which is a nap!!
I fell asleep last night to the sound of raindrops landing on fallen leaves. It was the contemplation of the sound that put me to sleep–Hearing the hollow sound of the water hitting the now crisp and curling leaves is very different from the usual flat thud of water hitting thirsty earth. As the breeze brings more leaves from their branches, a passing shower in Autumn sings a very different song from her summer counterparts. This season inspires me in ways that I cannot fully express. Ironically, it also dampens all of my optimism: The lonely, gray, merciless and endless winter is coming. Not even my optimism can change the realities of that.
But when winter comes, I’ll have a warm place to hide. A little farmhouse 10 minutes away from where I am sitting right now.
We, finally, got our commitment letter yesterday. Some sucker gave us a mortgage. The selling family needs to install the new septic system and then we’re going to the closing table. I will own that cute little place on November 7th or 8th.
Paradisio is only Paradisio when you pass through the pearly gates, but the precariousness of this very long negotiation seems to be giving way. Don’t congratulate me until I post a picture of my house keys. And remember, once we own this home, we can’t move in until the work is done. But at least I’ll only be negotiating with one person at that point rather than 5.
Can I make a confession?
I am absolutely falling in love with this place. I am sincerely and unabashedly falling in love with this area. We’ve hit peak foliage color and I find myself breathless whenever I look outside of my window. The colors are vivid, the smell is hypnotic, the temperature is perfect, the sound like a symphony. It isn’t to say that autumn in Maryland isn’t beautiful–but at least where I’m from, it is nothing like this. I almost feel like I’m cheating… There is a shame in this confession, a betrayal of sorts… but it feels so good to surrender to it. This is me, loving where I live with a wholeness that I haven’t felt since I’ve moved here. Maybe it’s the freedom of knowing that we are staying here permanently, or maybe there is simply a magic to this region… I fully understand why so many writers and thinkers choose this place as their home.
I want very much to write more today–but the boys are not napping upstairs and I am far behind on my day. We went back to the farm today–I just had to get out and be on this beautiful day–but being at the farm always eats such a large chunk of my day. So the baking I planned on doing has been held off–and that Portuguese sweet bread requires two 2-hour rises–and I need to get chopping for the spaghetti sauce soon. Both of those boys did a lot of walking today, and yet Ursa Major is fighting this nap and winning. i’m going to have a whiny, ridiculous, overtired toddler on my hands all afternoon and evening. Life comes with joys and burdens. There is always balance in the universe.
This is a good weekend for trying out new recipes. I’m trying to sucker mom out of a free dinner tomorrow (I’m terrible, I know!) but if I don’t get that, I have meatball sandwiches I can make. I also have a brisket in my freezer that I plan on throwing in my oven all day on Sunday. One of these days, when I just have obs and gobs of money for no reason, I’m going to build an outdoor kitchen with a smoker. Brisket isn’t really brisket unless it has been smoked. Now that is something that I’ll always miss about Maryland. Massachusetts BBQ just ain’t shit.
but these ancient trees are spectacular, and these rolling hills are breathtaking. I am in awe every day. But as I said before–even my optimism cannot outlast the cruel, cruel winter here.
Annnd, of course, if I am dealing with screaming babies, I won’t be writing–and next September is just around the corner. I have so much work to do! The good news? I finished my outline this week. The bad news? I have another outline and scene cards to do. Gotta get it done before November 1 when I get writing! Next month’s word goal? 80,000 words!
Can I close on a house, keep contractors in line, take care of my children, schedule the Christmas portrait, write the Christmas letter, serve Thanksgiving dinner, maintain this blog and write 80,000 words next month? Can I do it?
You know what? I’m just that freaking crazy. Hells yeah I can do it!
but right now, I have to get my babies. And leave you some pictures.
It is Friday and I have wishes. I wish my boys would sleep… or maybe that they will be kind to me in their non-sleep this afternoon…
Seriously, on this Friday I have wishes for you. I wish you a moment of contemplation–while looking at the silver of the moon or the brilliant blue sky. I wish you the crunch of dry leaves under your warm feet and crisp air blowing through your hair. I wish you a moment of looking at your favorite person (people) happy and walking in the sun. I wish you a confession–something deep and passionate and beautiful: in a mirror, in an ear, on a blog. Let something go out into the universe. You might be surprised what the universe will send you back. I wish you a night with the windows open, with just enough of a cold edge in the air to make you curl up deep in your covers. I wish you a plate full of rich and well prepared food, a well selected beverage to accompany it, and wonderful company to share it with. I wish you a few steps toward your own beautiful paradise.