Photo: View from one side of my balcony.
So I’m blogging and it’s 6:30, but I’ve been up since 5. Usually, if I’m up at 5, it’s because Ursa Minor has decided to wake up ridiculously early. This morning, I’m baby free and productive. I did some reading and some writing, and now my friday morning muffins are bringing warmth to my kitchen and a sweet smell to the air.
It has been hard to get up any time before 7 lately, but 5 used to be my normal wake-up time.
I got this from my grandmother. She has gotten up every day at 5am since she had her children and they were young. 5am was reading and coffee time. I say “was” because my grandmother has lost her sight and cannot read her morning paper anymore–something that she mourns very deeply. She’s not fully blind, but it is hard for her to read, see the television, or even look at pictures of the boys if I send them in anything smaller than an 8×13 print. She, being the saint that she is, takes it in stride and does her best not to dwell. “I have so many blessings, [Kay], I can’t begrudge the good Lord for this.”
I remember being a foolish little girl (not that I’m not now) and wondering why anyone in their right mind would want to get up at 5 every morning. What the hell could possibly be so great about 5am? It didn’t click for me until senior year of college: I was a Resident Assistant, a Student Teacher, I was taking 22 credits each semester, I had friends and a boyfriend and stuff. Twenty-four hours was never enough, but I greatly valued sleep. I’ve always been a “morning person” in that when the alarm goes off, I’m up and ready to go. I very rarely hit the snooze button. But still, I just didn’t have enough time in the freaking day. Sitting in my grandmother’s living room during that crazy time, she said jokingly, “I mean, you could add time… in the morning. Just wake up earlier.”
On that following Monday, I totally did. And it was wonderful.
There are things about the early morning that I absolutely love–the world smells new and fresh. It’s unusually quiet because not a lot of cars are on the road. Someone, somewhere, is brewing coffee and it always seems to waft in my direction. The intrepid are up and moving, pounding the pavement on their way to their cars or to the T. Yes, some people are grumpy, but most are contemplative: The day is dawning, the possibilities are endless. And actually watching the sun make her daily entrance brings a special energy to the day. Someone has to be here to greet the sun, and the reward seems to last all day.
The boys have been exhausting all week, and I didn’t get to bed until 11 last night, but I wanted to be here this morning. I wanted to kick off my weekend stress-free. That’s what 5am is all about. No babies, no husband, no television, no wants or needs beyond my own. The sun comes up early here in Massachusetts, especially during the summer, but she is no less impressive. I stood on my balcony for a couple minutes just to take it in. I’m going to miss this little apartment when we leave it in 3 weeks. Especially because my tiny balcony has such a lovely view.
The Husband will be emerging from his shower soon–he’s off to work early today. He didn’t ask, but I know he’ll be grateful to get his Friday muffins anyway. We may be out of sync this week, but there are some things that I can do to say “I love you.” These are the special gifts that five years can bring. I think every wife (or partner) has a secret smile when they think to themselves “I know exactly what that man needs.”
I had an interesting conversation about my marriage yesterday that I’ve been thinking about, but I’m going to share it next week. Fridays have become calm-posting days, and I’m not going to buck that trend today.
So for you members of the secret society of marriage, I hope you find a little something to do today for your partner. Something that brings you that secret satisfaction that only you can get. The husband just walked in and gave me a kiss on the cheek, “you didn’t have to do that,” he said. Secret smile on.